Resolution

This is my Easter egg arrangement from several years ago. The china cross was a gift from my daughter, who also crocheted the little flower doily. This year, and for some time past, I haven't been able to make much of a creative effort in any direction. The dollhouses have gone to ruin, the leaf quilt remains unfinished, the books are unpublished, the dwelling-house is a wreck. I've bought Easter egg dye, but until Monday evening, I had forgotten that this is Holy Week.

The chief reason for the stalled creativity is my conscientiousness in following doctors' orders.

Every six months, for years, I have had a medical checkup, and the time in between checkups is occupied by running back and forth getting manual, biologic and electronic tests for ailments that so far have been nonexistent. Increasingly, as I get older, all this preys on my mind until I can't get anything done. Always without fail, there is at least one appointment for a test hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles. The name or image of The Kirklin Clinic in my mind's eye has a sign that says "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here." Because of course someday one of the tests, if I keep on getting them, will be my ticket to Pleasant Ridge.

At present I have two of these expert analyses almost immediately in front of me, one tomorrow and one in April. That's all I can think about. That, and worse.

As I approach my eightieth year, I think I deserve a little peace of mind. If these two tests turn out benign or inconclusive, they're going to be my last, at least for some time to come. And I will refuse to have more than one physical exam per year. Enough of anything is enough. In the future, if I feel seriously ill, I'll call 911 and let nature take its course.

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All that is not to mention being a little bit afraid to drive on the highways.