Cruising for a Fight

The checkout counter was bare, but an enormous young woman, in most of a pair of shorts and a little shirt, was waiting for the clerk to get through helping a customer load his basket. When I approached to unload my cart, the EYW backed up against my cart, so I pulled back into the aisle. When she moved forward, I started to unload again, but she ran up against my cart and started peering at a display over my left shoulder, so I backed away up into the aisle. I kept backing up, because she kept pushing at a box on top of the display, and it looked like it would fall on me or my cart.

When the clerk turned around to the register, the EYW turned around, but still blocked the lane while she talked at the clerk. Then she finally bought a pack of chewing gum or something and walked away, but when I pushed my cart up and started to unload, she ran back and pushed against the cart and leaned over the counter and laughed and talked at the clerk.

I mentally saw myself doing what I really wanted to do, and wondered what the outcome would be if I were brash enough to pick up my wine bottle and give her one upside the head. The adventures of getting out of the house. Stifling violent impulses. Remembering old Betty J-----t and other pugnacious fat females who liked nothing better than to pick a fight with an old woman or a little kid.

The incident reminded me of a story W.C. Fields told about picking a fight with a fat woman in a bar. He and his buddy almost got the best of her, but she finally grabbed a beer bottle and broke it and cut them both up pretty bad before the cops arrived.