Thursday, May 3, 2012

Ars Longa, Angst Longior

One day when I was working for Social Security, I interviewed a guy who was a professor, or some type like that who knows everything. The interview turned into a conversation, and he asked what my hobbies were. I said painting and writing. He said, "The writing doesn't matter. The painting does." Maybe he was right. Maybe I took the wrong road. Maybe the world needed a painting of Walt Whitman instead of a poem about him. Unfortunately, I never saw him close up enough to paint him.

I did try to paint him from a photograph. Got as far as a pencil sketch on the canvas and gave up in disgust with myself.

I think, if I had to paint Walt Whitman, I would just paint some tall grass with a wolf or a coyote gnawing at some carrion. I think that would please Mr. W.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Tuesday

Brought Mo home from the Clinic yesterday. Maybe he's better, but he looks worse than when I took him in. He has chosen the front bathroom for his domain, and won't leave it. When I carried him upstairs to the living room, he ran and jumped up onto the coffee table and sat staring around as if he didn't believe it. But since then, he hardly moves. But he eats every couple of hours and drinks a lot of water, so maybe he'll recover by and by.

I called Dave to come and clean the carpets and kill what fleas are left. Mo's hidey hole seems to be clear of fleas, maybe because he and the beach towel I had him wrapped in are still [I can't think of the word] soaked with flea repellent. So maybe he'll last until Dave has been here on Friday.

Yesterday I petted the stray white cat, and he bit my hand twice so that I had to disinfect and bandage the puncture wounds. I'm done with pets. Finished. I don't ask them to say "thank you" for the food and water and the porch to lie on or under. Just don't injure me, that's all.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Fairhope, Alabama

The winnahs--my baby sister and me! No, that's not Mary Ramey on the right, it just looks like her.
Beautiful fountain in the park beside the Bay.
Beautiful roses.
Beautiful tree.
Beautiful people. Ramey and Jed.
*
Not to mention the beautiful birds--Pelicans, little black birds and their houses up on poles, and the prettiest seagulls in the world, I'll bet. I just couldn't get good photos of them.
*
The event was the spring awards meeting of the Alabama State Poetry Society. I won a first prize, a second prize, two third prizes and two honorable mentions. Ramey won a first prize and an honorable mention. If she had entered more poems, she would have won more--I don't just think so, I know it.
*
My Walt Whitman poem won second prize in its category. It contains the best line I've ever written: "I [Walt Whitman] will give  you antidotes to fear and loneliness."

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Lost In Hag Woods

The very next Sunday, assured that the Titanic sinking involved no more of their acquaintances, the family pile into Daddy's treasured automobile and ride out to Graymont. There they find that the only possibly livable part of the house--indeed, the only part they can get inside of--is the south wing. The children have never been to Graymont before, and they are enchanted by it.

"I'm staying here," Dolly declares.

"You can't have my room," says Maybelle Buff-Orpington who greets them in the courtyard.

"We don't need a room," Camilla informs her. "I would live here if I had to sleep under a tree."

"Me, too," says Dolly. Her favorite place around the house is an old weather-scarred, rain-whitened gazebo that's just visible through the trees and undergrowth.

"This is where I'll live," she decides.

"That's my summer house," May claims.

"Mine now," says Dolly.

Maybelle mumbles something cross, and leads Camilla away to see another country wonder.

"Chipmunks," she says. "Did you ever see two chipmunks dancing, Cammie?"

Soon it's time to go home. Mama has settled herself in the car with Peter in her lap, and Daddy calls to the girls. That is, he calls to Camilla, who is talking to May in the courtyard. Dolly is nowhere in sight.

"She's prob'ly still at the gazebo," Camilla says, but they can't find her there.

After going up and down stairs in the south wing, and searching the woods and dark places around the house, they find themselves back at the gazebo. Peter hardly ever cries, but he is tired, hungry and fretful. It occurs to Camilla to call out.

She shouts as loud as she can. "Dolly! Where are you?"

"I'm up here," comes a squeaky little voice from somewhere over their heads. A creaking, grinding sound follows, and the roof of the gazebo slowly rises in the air.

As it turns out, Dolly has found a crank down below that raises the roof, and when one climbs up, it can be moved up and down by pushing and pulling. She loves the inside, that's painted one of her favorite shades of blue.

"How did you get up there?" Daddy demands.

"I just climbed on the rail and shinnied up the pole."

As he is helping her climb down, it never occurs to Daddy to threaten her with punishment. He's wondering if he could still shinny up a pole if such became necessary or desirable.

Getting Ready To Travel

We're going to Fairhope, Alabama on Friday, for the Alabama State Poetry Society spring awards luncheon. So I have to spend today and tomorrow getting ready, as far as possible. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to travel. I like to have traveled, for something to look back on and feel as if I've done things and been places. But the actual experience is like holding my breath under water until I get back home.

I haven't always been so backwards; I've been all up and down the east coast of the U.S. and parts of the middle west. I've been to Canada, and across the water to England. Flew low enough over Ireland to see how green it is, and to wish I were down there. While I was in traveling mode, I should have gone out west and down to Mexico, and I would feel like I'd seen all of Earth that I was meant to see.

Some of the traveled spots I like to remember are Madison, Wisconsin; Wells Cathedral in England; an oolitic limestone formation near Tuscaloosa, Alabama; Cherokee, North Carolina. I think I could feel at home in Wisconsin. But when I crossed the line back into Alabama, I'd probably dissolve in happy tears, the way I've always done.

At least this weekend, we'll still be in Alabama.

*

The vet said she could give Mo a blood transfusion, and it might make him feel better for a few days. But if his bone marrow isn't making red blood cells, it wouldn't do any good in the long run. They have a calico cat running around the clinic who is their "donor" cat. I worry that maybe the blood types wouldn't match. Do cats have blood types? But she didn't sound optimistic about any treatment for him.

I know one thing: No more pets will enter this house while I'm in it, except to visit and go home elsewhere. Fleas, neither, if I can ever get rid of the ones I've already got.

*

I got antsy and phoned River City Publishing in Montgomery. Talked to a nice guy who said they were down to judging the final few manuscripts entered in the 2011 Fred Bonnie Memorial competition. He took my name and phone number and said he would get someone who knew more to call me. When I told him the title of my manuscript, he said, "Oh, I remember that!"

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Poor Mo

Mo the Cat is in the pet clinic, and the vet says "maybe this" and "maybe that." But he's severely anemic, Lord-knows how old, and I don't feel optimistic. We decided to give him another day to start eating and moving around, if he can. So tomorrow, we'll see how he's doing.

*

Dolly found this pretty quilt in an old trunk in the attic, and claimed it for her bed. The girls are admiring it. Camilla hasn't decided whether she wants a quilt or a crocheted spread.

Dolly loves blue, and Camilla likes pink and green, so their room doesn't have a real color scheme. Each one expects to have a room of her own when they move to Graymont, but at present that seems to be only a temporary arrangement. The family will probably move back to their house when the renovations are done, and any extra rooms will be filled with babies.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Panic Attack or Simple Insomnia?

Blam! Pterodactyl Time!

Panic--greater standing mute or screaming?
Is this a death-in-life experience?
Better to lie still or run in circles?
Just now it's hard to tell the difference.

Flee, for your life, the south pole of inertia!
O tremor, shake this form with trembling!
Cliches and proverbs, exercise your power
And bring whatever comfort you can bring!

Tomorrow will be better--That's salvation!
Clutch at that thought with fingers cold as sleet!
There's still a mind that's capable of thinking,
Up there where dawn and dreams and reason meet;

And swirling in this nowhere-scape of shadows,
Familiar landmarks to the vision creep.
Ah, welcome, blessed angel of exhaustion!
With you at last, deliverance and sleep!

By Joanne Cage April 23, 2012

*

Apr. 23, 10:00 PM - I'll work on this poem, trying to clarify what it's about.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

A Day To Remember

After spending half an hour on the phone transferring my depression onto my son Jed, I felt so much better that I jumped up, fixed lunch and ate, then cleaned up the house. Well, not completely, but I got a good start.

*

On a cool April afternoon, the family decide they're not up to going out to the Hag Woods to investigate the condition of Graymont house. Having decided to put off that job for another day, they gather in the living room, light the fire, and prepare to listen to Daddy play his violin. He's a pretty good fiddler. Billy Bones has been drafted to accompany him on the piano, because nobody else plays except Dolly who can play "Yankee Doodle" with her right hand, and Daddy doesn't want to play "Yankee Doodle." The servants have lined up in the doorway to listen.

Suddenly Beauty rushes in with a telegram that has just arrived. Everyone freezes. No one knows exactly  what to do. None of them has ever received a telegram before. Finally, Billy suggests that Daddy open it and see what it says.

Daddy does so, then looks around the room, dazed.

"It's--" Daddy clears his throat. "It's from Brother Ned," he says. "He was coming home from England on the RMS Titanic, and the ship sank early this morning. He--he wanted to let us know he's all right, before we heard about the wreck from the [radio or the] newspaper."

[Breaking the stunned silence, Camilla says, "See, Mama? I told you we should buy that radio we saw at Harte's on Saturday!"]

Mama, who hasn't yet fainted, gasps, "I hope no one else we know was on board."

"Thank God Ned's all right," says Billy.

"Somebody run see if the afternoon paper has arrived. I'll go telephone to Mother. Ned doesn't say whether he telegraphed her," Daddy says, and leaves the room.
*
You know, when I look at pictures of my dollhouse, I get the same calm, right feeling that I had while writing Big Baby. Like I'm fulfilled in some way. Go figure.

***

MY MISTAKE: There was no radio except wireless telegraphy until 1920 or later. So Ned didn't mention "the radio," and Camilla didn't regret not buying one at the furniture store.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Complications Ahead

The house has become too crowded for the family. Granny Gray has recently gone on to somewhere else, and surprise! She left Graymont to Daddy, with the condition that he adopt little Maybelle Buff-Orpington and raise her as one of his own children. Sigh.


Mama and Daddy are discussing the move to the country. As long as the subject of the adoption doesn't come up, things are pretty quiet. Peter, Tiny and the teddy bear listen in but have no input to the conversation.

So, as soon as Graymont has been cleaned out and made livable, the family will move over there, and work can begin on the attic. And another bathroom.

(Daddy secretly hopes that some of the antiques at Graymont will be valuable enough to sell and help finance the work on the house.)
*
Something has happened to my blog. Nothing stays the same, except changes to cope with.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

It's Always Something

Daddy Doll is contemplating the ceiling in his study, which is sagging. Looks like it's about to fall down. The ceiling fan, he thinks, is probably the only thing holding it up.

Well, he thinks, when the work starts on the attic, they'll just have to repair the ceiling, too. This is what he gets for scrimping (or running out of money) and failing to put up crown molding. He's considering an Art Nouveau chandelier to replace the ceiling fan and light. Daddy gets champagne ideas on his cider budget.

The wall clock hanging over his head is one he calls "Goliath's pocket-watch."

Lucinda is cleaning the study again. It must be spotless, because she spends a lot of time in there. She's not as old as Grandma, but she's several years older than Daddy, and she's awfully fond of him. Daddy secretly thinks she's the only person in the house who understands and appreciates him.

Daddy notices what looks like a ghost peering in through the top left pane of the glass door to the balcony. If you click on the ceiling picture, you can see the "ghost."

"Lucinda, do you see that weird reflection in the glass door?"

Lucinda turns and, glancing at the door, says, "Why, Mr. D., that's not a reflection. It's just a jug of flowers I put on the balcony this morning. I declare, sir, you ought to start wearing your specs, or go get some new ones."

Daddy winces, hearing another cash register ringing. He has lost his old eyeglasses, having refused to wear them on a ribbon around his neck.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Something To Shoot For






My goal is to make every room in my house please me at least as much as my dining room does. Then I'll move away and leave it all.




*






I've been looking at houses to buy if we sell this one. But I've really only seen one that I liked as much, the one Jed and I looked at last week.

My grand-nephew Jesse's grandmother Billie has passed away, and I'm very sad for the family.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Almost Certified

Ever since last Sunday, I've been feeling like a real poet instead of just a pretender. Because someone outside the immediate circle of poets, family and friends posted on FaceBook that I was one of her "favorite poets in all the world." But the euphoria is wearing off, and I realize that what I have to do is "lodge a few poems where they can't be ignored," as Frost said.

So I'm going to start annoying The New Yorker by sending them a group of four poems every month until they give in and publish one. I may have to use a pen name like Hrvak Jroykin or Po Nuyen. And send in my subscription renewal money.

And publish a book of all my prize-winning poems!!!
*
Susan's sister supper yesterday was wonderful. It was just the three of us, and we straightened everything out. Temporarily, at least.
*
There's a mockingbird outside my window, sitting on a holly bush and eating the berries. And turning her head this way every time I whistle.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Tempus fugit, faster and faster

These Brief Days

Life travels with the speed of light;
No sooner Monday than it’s Sunday–
A whole week gone, and it seems like one day!
Why do we name the days that fly
Like racing clouds across the sky?
Calling names won’t slow their flight.
Adam and Eve and all your kin,
This is how you’re paying for original sin.
In the garden–

In the garden,
Morning felt like forever;
Noon was time enough to walk
From the northwest corner of the north forty
To the southeast of the south.
In the garden a girl could grow up
In a single April afternoon
Under the apple blossom sprays, heavy,
Heavy with honey-scented white
And (suspicion being all that ever slept)
When the golden fruit
Weighed down the golden boughs,
Might feast in silver shadows,
Veiled from any troubled gaze.

A gentle comedy, unthinking players!
How could the apple stir our brains
Into the folly of naming these brief days?
We string them together in wilted daisy chains
And set them winding on time’s blurred wheel,
Whirling too fast for us to see
The worm at the core, the serpent at our heel.

By Joanne Cage, October 1979

*
I guess Jed's still in California. I've slept much of the time since he left here on Saturday, to keep from worrying about him. "If God had meant for man to fly," etc.

Susie is giving "Sister Supper" again tonight. I think I'll do that in May. Hope I've got the house in better shape by then.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Brave New Words

No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.

O God within my breast,
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life--that in me has rest,
As I--undying Life--have power in thee!

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts: unutterably vain;
Worthless as withered weeds,
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by thine infinity;
So surely anchored on
The stedfast rock of immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.

Though earth and man were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou were left alone,
Every existence would exist in Thee.

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou--THOU art Being and Breath,
And what THOU art may never be destroyed.

By Emily Bronte

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Time Out

Yesterday I worked in the basement and got a lot done. Meant to finish it today, but fate intervened and I received the Downton Abbey set I had ordered, so you know how that went.

Jed just phoned and said he would be in Decatur, AL tomorrow and would come by here in the evening and stay until Saturday. That's wonderful--I was getting lonesome for some good faces other than cats and the occasional Gretchen dog. Seriously, I will be very glad to see my boy.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Ho Hum

Yesterday I put in several solid hours of work on the house, mostly outside. Cleaned up the deck, carried out loads of trash-- How can a house accumulate so much trash, with just one old woman and a cat living in it? Maybe houses ought to be phased out; they're beginning to take on a life of their own, collecting junk against the wishes of their occupants. I also called a guy about cutting the grass, did three loads of laundry, and then collapsed. Plans for today are much the same, but I ought to be writing.

When I'm writing, I think I ought to be cleaning, and vice-versa. I do have an idea for a story, somehow involving Charlotte Corday. Girondins, Montagnards. Marat, Robespierre. Corday was a Leo, born on July 27th. Maybe she's just a ghost at Graymont, sometimes carrying her head under her arm. But that has been done. Maybe a story will develop--but I suspect the only time a story develops is when someone sits down and starts writing it.



Anyway, in March I decided that April will be cleaning month. "April is the cruellest month...."

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Graymont

Among the Dolls' relations, there's an old lady who lives 'way out in the sticks. Grandma calls her Granny Gray, though even Grandma gets confused when trying to trace the exact family relationship. This crone may be even older than Billy Bones claims to be, and her first name is Gertrude. Or Geraldine, or Gretchen. Gilda or Gwendolyn, no one is sure, because of the scrawled nature of signature on the rare greeting cards they receive from her.

A hundred or so years ago, Granny G's house was a mansion called Graymont, but now it is a (pardon the anachronism) rambling wreck crammed with all manner of trash and treasures. Much of the Dolls' household furnishing came from there. If anyone should want a bustle or a farthingale, a French clock with cherubs, a German player-piano called a Fortsenzitter or something like that, a death mask of George Washington, a steam-powered tricycle-- Well, Granny G can usually find whatever is needed in one cubbyhole or another, with the aid, so she claims, of various ghosts in the house.

With random hired help, she does keep a few rooms tidy and functional, such as the pretty suite occupied by little Maybelle Buff-Orpington, an orphan child who is said to be a grandchild of Step-Grandpa Barry Buff-Orpington.

Daddy Doll wants to send a crew of photographers to Graymont to record some of the flotsam there before the whole place goes up in flames or falls to dust. He hasn't yet found professionals willing to take on the job for a reasonable fee.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

One of those days

There's one thing I must do today--take stuff back to the library. But it's so hard to get started. I think I'll try to form the habit of doing things that must be done, first thing every day. That habit ought to be valuable to me in the years ahead. Think where I might be today if I had practiced it all along. I shudder to think.

@Julian Fellowes: Please don't write any more British soap operas or add any more to D.A. I've got other things to do, probably.
*
Maybe dangling a Sonics burger in front of my third eye would get me started.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Lord, I'm Old!

I'm one day older than Maggie Smith, but my neck is not as long. Nice to know she doesn't look like a young chick, either.


Dame Maggie plays Violet Crawley, my favorite character in "Downton Abbey."

Monday, March 26, 2012

Road Map

On Viewing My Hand Through a Jeweler's Loupe

Not my fortune, but a road map,
these twisted lines like broken trails,
like rutted roads and pavement cracks,
and super-highways, with detours
and bridges out where rivers roared--
these are my past ways etched in my hand;
and jagged lightning-streaks also,
dense clouds and many-pointed stars
that hid or lit my stumbling gait.
The road ahead's not shown, unless
that great rift 'round the mount of the moon
may or may not signify
the end of all roads. If it may,
God grant not tomorrow or today.

by Joanne Cage, March 6, 2012

*

This is the poem I wrote at Joan and Beverly's Private Eye presentation on March 6. I read it tonight at the AC poetry meeting.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Easter Bonnets

Mama and Grandma have some shopping to do.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Good eats, and Dealing with the pollen and cat hair

Yesterday evening Sister Susan treated Pat, India and me to supper at her house. She served a wonderful chicken salad that she made from scratch, and lots of other good things.

This morning, after a practically sleepless (coughing/sneezing/ gasping/wheezing) night, I went to the CVS and conferred with the pharmacist for some allergy tablets, and they really work! So far. He told me three times to take only one a day. I wondered what would happen if I took two, but was too scared to ask.

When I got home, I turned on the TV and watched a film of Niecy Nash's 2011 wedding to Jay Tucker. That Niecy has got to be one of the sweetest people in this world. I know, she makes a lot of noise and threats and protests, but she is deep down sweet to the bone. She had her wedding dress all picked out, and then let her mama talk her into changing to the one her mama wanted, that didn't fit so well. In the same mood of being afraid her mama's feelings would be hurt, she let Mama sing at the reception. Margaret is at about at the same talent level as me, as a singer. It was a beautiful wedding, in spite of the wedding planner's running 12,000 bucks over budget before buying chairs and flowers. And in spite of a wind storm that tore up the (outdoor) reception area before the guests were seated, and a crew had to halfway put things back together. And in spite of Niecy's teen-aged daughter being sort of balky and cross.

Gosh, it feels good to breathe all the way down, for the first time in several days.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Worried Man


"I almost wish you wouldn't bring that child here," says Daddy, when little Maybelle is out of hearing distance.

"Why are you in such a peckish mood?" Grandma protests. "May is our dear B.-O.'s grandchild, and she has a right to visit our old home."

"Well, I'm just worried about Miranda."

"You should have married a stout Irish or American girl."

"She fainted this morning before breakfast."

"Uh oh," says Grandma. "We know what that means."

"What am I going to do, Mother? I'm always afraid the next one will be twins, and the house isn't big enough to hold them."

"You'll have to convert the attic to a big nursery and children's rooms. You've put off that job for seven years, now, but it must be done."

"But where is the money to be found?" Daddy worries. "Hardly enough comes in now to pay the staff, and Miranda declares that if there's another baby, she will hire a nanny before it's born."

"Call in some favors from your friends," Grandma advises. "You threw money all over the place when B.-O. died. Every family who wanted a new carriage, or a loan to cover their holiday trip, would gather around to see if you had spent all your inheritance yet."

"Tom Bose is a pretty good carpenter," Daddy reckons, "and I guess you could say he owes me a couple of thousands from the year their barns burned, though I hate to remind him of that misfortune."

"If you would remind everyone who owes you money, with any successful return," says Grandma, "you could hire a nurse for the children and a housekeeper to run this place--which someone sorely needs to do."

"What do you mean by that remark?"

And so forth.
*
Maybelle's surname is Buff-Orpington. A very old breed of barnyard fowl is called Orpington. Camilla calls Maybelle "Chicken," sometimes to her face.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Out of Africa

Daddy Doll has this twin brother, Mycroft Edward Dahl, known to the children as Uncle Ned. He was born half an hour before Daddy, so when Grandpa Dahl died, Ned inherited all the money there was, which was a whole lot. It was kept in trust for him, but all was okay as far as Grandma and Alexis were concerned, because Sir Barry B.-O. was waiting to marry Grandma and take them into his big house, and he had plenty of money, though not an excess.

When Ned came of age and got his rich inheritance, he took off for parts unknown and wound up in Africa.

Daddy Doll talks a lot of travel and adventure, but in practice he is a home body who prefers his books, dogs and pipes to any kind of movement. The "hunting dogs" are mostly for show, because Alexis doesn't even own a gun. He was horrified when Ned sent him the two baby giraffes from Africa--Daddy thought they came from the taxidermist, but they turned out to be wood carvings by a native artist. So he installed them in the study and hung a map of Africa above the old wall-mounted telephone, which is swiftly becoming an antique.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

"Ver aspergit terram floribus. . ."

The flurry of activity around the Dolls' house is a sure sign that spring has come. Billy has brought in a tub full of flowers, and Beauty is waiting to arrange them after Lucinda gets through mopping the kitchen floor. But little Beau is taking his first steps, and nobody wants to disturb him.

There's a lot of redecorating going on, as well as spring cleaning. The girls' room has got new curtains, but the beds are still being stripped and measured for new mattresses.

Mama Doll is proud of the new chair seats and the little matching settee she had made to go by the front door. It can be shifted over to seat two more at the dining table when needed.
New curtains in the bedroom--and they're hard to see, but the bathroom window has green-and-blue wooden blinds. Mama herself is sporting a new spring outfit. Peter is still cuddled under his faux leopard blankie, but someone will take him out in the garden later in the morning, when he is washed and dressed.

*

 If this uncertain age in which we dwell
Were really as dark as I hear sages tell,
And I convinced that they were really sages,
I should not curse myself with it to hell,
But leaving not the chair I long have sat in,
I should betake me back ten thousand pages
To the world's undebatably dark ages,
And getting up my medieval Latin, . . .

I'd say, "O master of the Palace school,
You were not Charles' nor anybody's fool:
Tell me, as pedagogue to pedagogue,
You did not know that since King Charles did rule,
You had no chance but to be minor, did you?
Your light was spent perhaps as in a fog,
That at once kept you burning low and hid you;. . .

"Yet, singing but Dione in the wood,
Or Ver aspergit terram floribus,
[You] slowly led old Latin verse to rhyme
And to forget the ancient lengths of time,
And so began the modern world for us."

From "The Lesson For Today," by Robert Lee Frost

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Never Again

will I wait till the last day to get contest entries in the mail. I have struggled all day to get my NFSPS poems ready, and have managed to misprint an ink cartridge and half a package of paper, and probably broke my printer before I finished. Had to hand-print my entry card, and they may not accept it.

So now I have to make it to the P.O. before five o'clock, and can't leave the house without a shower. I'm about tired of hurrying, which messes everything up anyway.
*
5:20 p.m. Well, I made it.

Said my grocery clerk, "Seegrits is got so haaa!" In a place that has had public schools for at least a hundred years, there is totally no excuse. Except that some of the schoolteachers talk the same way. Sometimes I wish I lived in Canada, but seegrits is probably haaa there, too.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Had to find out for myself

that the Fred Bonnie prize for best first novel has apparently been awarded to a lady in West Virginia. From the synopsis on her website, it sounds like a good book, somewhat like my Big Baby but coming down harder on racism, homophobia and other current issues in the news. River City Publishing is releasing her book in August 2012. The judge who selected the winner was a male author.

I think for the $40 entry fee, they could have afforded to notify the losers when the winner was chosen.

It's okay, I guess, from my point of view. I've been itching to rewrite Big Baby. I'm debating whether to ask River City if the competition is officially over, so I can submit the book somewhere else. The sites I found didn't actually say Ms. Manilla won the contest I entered in 2011.

http://www.mariemanilla.com/

5:45 p.m. I'm having a migraine aura. It looks like a spot on a peacock feather, magenta and silver, with all the edges sparkly.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Down To the N.-G.

Lately, I'm thinking I'd like to pare my "library" down to just a few books--not more than a hundred--that I can't do without. Looking back, it seems I have lived in these books. I think they've taught me how to think and what to look for. Or maybe most of them just reflect what I've thought all along. So, BOOKS TO KEEP:

The Bible, of course, but which one(s)?

And Shakespeare. If I kept all the Bibles and all the books by and about Shakespeare--

Oscar Williams's "A Little Treasury of American Poetry." This was the first book I bought when I went to work and earned my own money.

Of course, the Britannica, and the Great Books of the Western World, have become just so much lumber, because it's all online, or will be soon. I guess you could say that about most of the books in the world, but it isn't quite true. "To our daughter Sara Joanne Ramey, 1944" isn't on the internet. And so forth.

I'm tired already.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

New Stuff and Old Bones

In a burst of ebullience, the handyman Billy Bones converted the Dolls' woodshed into a playhouse. This removed some of the clutter of toys from the nursery and girls' rooms.

In 1910, a census taker asked Billy for his full name and his age or birth date. Billy said he was born in Ireland, and that on Christmas Day in 1798, he was christened William Praise God Bare Bones Bonney.

Mama said, "Nonsense! Nobody gets christened on Christmas Day!"

Daddy said, "Oh, that's just Billy! I think he was born at Fairhope in 1876, just like me!"

The census taker wrote down "Wm. Bonnet, age 112."

Mama has had the dining room chairs reupholstered, but she saved the old needlepoint covers. They're signed MC, and Grandma said they were made by a young girl named Melissa.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Additional Tips For Disaster Preparedness

These ideas may come in handy AFTER you've completely filled all your rooms, garage and basement with  survival essentials such as dried beans, toilet paper, bottled water, matches, dog/cat food, camo clothing, guns, chain saws, cell phones, boat motors, and radio batteries. But you need to provide for them BEFORE the big one hits.

1. Marry a general practitioner/surgeon, or at least a paramedic, even if you have to support him/her.

2. Learn to sleep in the daytime, so you can stay up at night and watch for invaders.

3. Don't let your unprepared relatives know you're stockpiling. Better still, move to Boston or some place where you don't know anybody.

4. Collect recipes for dog, cat, squirrel, chipmunk, frog, lizard, crow, jaybird, etc. Raise mushrooms in the crawl space for side dishes.

5. Practice smoking indoors, so your neighbors won't see you smoking outside and know that you're holding tobacco or something.

6. Don't stress out by wondering what you'll do when you finally run out of everything. This is a real downer and takes the fun out of the whole disaster schtick.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Test Tube Babies: Mystery

I came across an on-line obituary for Gage Bush Englund, Birmingham native and famous ballerina and ballet mistress, who died in 2009. I remembered Gage Bush, who was a couple of years older than me. She had polio as a child and avoided being handicapped through ballet training, and I remember someone saying she was a "test tube baby," i.e., conceived by in vitro fertilization. Then I Googled "test tube baby," and found that a woman in England was the first one, born in 1978. If the story about Gage was just a rumor, at least the term was well-known before 1978, because it was probably before 1950 that I heard about it.

Maybe all scientific breakthroughs or "firsts" have to occur in either England or Russia. Certainly not in Birmingham, Alabama.

I have to get cracking, to get to a writing workshop at the Presbyterian church at ten a.m.

*

1:45 p.m.
The workshop was conducted by Joan Dawson and Beverly Radford of UAB, and it was really interesting. The lunch was delicious. Lots of cool folks were there: Mable, Sherry, Grady Sue, Spurgeon M., DeWitt S., Mary Anne, Doris, Frank--and many that I didn't know before but do now. At the end of the meeting, they gave us these certificates.

Monday, March 5, 2012

"Camille Saint-Saens was racked with pains. . .

When people addressed him as 'Saint-Saines;'
He held the human race to blame/ Because it could not pronounce his name."

I sort of felt that way, too, for a large part of my life, when people addressed me as Rahmay, Rainey, Ramsey, Cade, Cagle, Case, Cates, Caine, Chee, Gage, or Page. I don't mind about the thousands--well, maybe dozens--of nicknames based on my first names. But the surnames I have borne (I use that word deliberately) have taken up many moments of my life spent in spellings, corrections and explanations. But now it's all right. Frankly, Scarlett, you can call me anything you like. But you don't have to call me Jackson.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dickens, Daddy and Others

I'm reading Claire Tomalin's biography of Dickens, taking my time and trying to avoid eye strain. I would recommend this book to Jed, or anyone else wanting to read about Dickens, instead of my favorite, the voluminous biography by Peter Ackroyd. Tomalin's book seems so far to have all the facts and much of the art, without the creepy feeling you're left with after reading Ackroyd.

I have lost or misplaced two things and more completely wrecked my house looking for them. One is a china doll's head, male and miniature, broken off from the shoulder plate, that looked slightly like Charles Dickens. I want to use it for the new Daddy that I aim to make for the dollhouse. The other is a miniature jade Foo dog with a mahogany stand.

The load of vegetables that I bought the other day to grill, roast or stir-fry has provided me with four or five meals, and I'm almost tired of squash, mushrooms, et al. But not of onions. The onions and green peppers were the best of all. I mostly roasted them with salt, lemon pepper, black pepper, and a dash of Italian dressing.

The title of this blog post is after George Orwell's book Dickens, Dali and Others. I don't remember Orwell saying very much about Dickens. I mostly remember that in Kipling and other artists and authors, he thought he found traces of Naziism.

Engraving from a painting by artist Maclise of Dickens at about age 27.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Getting Things Done

Today I managed to do more than one thing. Had to go to the P.O. to mail poems, and I thought as long as I was out, might as well go here and there. So I had the Tracker's oil changed and took the ASPS info to Ramey at the library. Since I had already missed "Jeopardy," I thought I would go to Lowe's, but I had left the lights to be returned at home, so I just went by the grocery and bought veggies to roast--squash, zucchini, mushrooms and little onions. Feast tomorrow.

Speaking of feasts, we had one last night, courtesy of Susan's hospitality and great cooking. Ramey, Suze and I ate until there wasn't much left. They were going to watch their favorite shows on TV, so I came on home after our dinner.

Hope to have another useful day tomorrow.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Morning Raining Down

Lovely weekend, lovely weather, and now things are back to normal weatherwise. My special guest this weekend was Mr. J.D. Cage of Duluth, GA. We had a great time shopping, eating, replacing light bulbs, looking at doors, and watching a movie he brought with him. The movie was a real dud--"Anonymous"--but that wasn't Jed's fault. They packed too much bad statistics in too short a space, and the sound was deplorable, like trying to carry on a conversation in the bleachers at a football game. But the actors (Ifans and V. Redgrave and J. Richardson) were good to look at.

Today I have to mail checks to Alabama State Poetry Society for the contest I'm sponsoring, and for my 2012 membership dues. Then I have to get some poems together to enter in the ASPS, National Federation of State Poetry Societies, and Alabama Conclave of Poets spring contests. The ASPS spring meeting and luncheon will be held in Fairhope, Alabama in April, so most likely I won't be there. Just mail me the checks, folks.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

A Poem By Edsel Ford

My dear, I have the photographs you sent
From Williamsburg and Richmond and the sea,
In which the lady with you, whose intent
No doubt was good, focused incessantly
Around and over you, at some quaint sight,
Edging you out in favor of a wave,
A bridge, a tree. And yet, dear girl, how bright
You had to be,--though edited, how brave!
Didn't she know that when you are in Boston,
You are its first attraction? And likewise
in Cuttyhunk? This ferry that you crossed on
Means nothing now, because your laughing eyes
Were not included in the snapshot, too;
I'd hoped to have three thousand miles of you.
*
I'm not sure I have it letter-perfect in my mind. I read this poem in The New Yorker many years ago, and I thought the poet was Henry Ford's son Edsel. But not so. This Edsel Ford was born in Alabama in 1928, so says Wikipedia, and grew up in Arkansas. He was a poet who published several books, but I couldn't find this particular poem online. I'm glad it stuck in my memory.

And, I'm glad to find out Ford's true identity.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

"Man's reach should exceed his grasp..."

Yesterday, trying to quit smoking, I ate/drank:

2 Marie Callender's chicken pot pies
Remains of a can of Pringle's chips
A sandwich of Gorton's fish sticks and Vlasic dill pickle stackers
3 small bunches of grapes
2 Coca-Colas (7-1/2 oz. mini-cans)
8 oz. grapefruit juice
A large package of Nutter Butter wafers
4 or 5 mugs of Folger's instant coffee with heaping spoonfuls of Coffeemate
A grilled cheese sandwich with Vlasic stacker and 1/8 stick of margarine (Parkay)

Finally, at 8:00 p.m., feeling very humble and defeated, burping all the way, I went to the Chevron and bought cigarettes.

*

I'm waiting for the Lowe's man with the metal door for the basement. He said he'd be here today between 9:00-10:00 a.m. No, he said, "Will between 9-10 o'clock be okay?" Maybe he meant p.m.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Old Photos and Attic Treasures

"A society is defined not only by what it creates, but by what it refuses to destroy."
--Edward O. Wilson (Courtesy of Jim Reed)


I think it was about 1907 when Daddy Doll got modern ideas, inspired by a modest inheritance from his step-father. He spent all the money installing electric lights and other prototypical monstrosities. Even a bathroom. The Dresden chamber-pot in the photograph used to reside in the guest room armoire, and Saturday baths took place in the washtub.

 This was Camilla at about that time, at age three or four,

and this was Kenya the cook making breakfast on the wood-burning range.

Up to that time, Cook thought she ruled the house, because she was the only one there who could even safely boil water. But when a gas stove--and later even an electric one--was brought in, she found that nobody listened to her protests. The only way she could make an impression was to resign. Temporarily. The wood stove went to the attic, anyway.

Cook stayed with her sister in another town for a month. Mama didn't know how to cook, and all Daddy could make was fried pies. Sometimes he forgot to poke holes in the dough, the pies would explode, and the kitchen would get decorated with hot boiled apricots or canned hash. He tried to make biscuits, but they turned out so hard, even the dogs turned up their noses.

The pretty bassinet in the attic was used for both Camilla and little Dolores/Dolly. But Peter weighed nearly twelve pounds at birth, and he had to have a bigger cradle. The portrait is thought to be of someone's maiden aunt, but all that is remembered of her is that she was called Dovie.

*

I watched "Amadeus" last night. The Mozart concerto, a link to which is in the left column of this blog, is the most beautiful piece of music ever created, I say. And I haven't even heard them all.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Oh, Fudge!

I don't know how many decades it had been since I last made chocolate fudge, until last Tuesday. Had no idea how to go about it, and all the recipes I could find around the house called for marshmallow, or powdered sugar, or other ingredients that didn't suggest what I craved. I used just one cup of sugar, so that if it was a mess I wouldn't be wasting much. It turned out so good, I wanted to eat the whole little disk that resulted. But I controlled myself, and just finished the last crumbs this afternoon. The secret ingredient, the "wow factor," was two tablespoons of Jiff peanut butter that I stirred into the pot.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Cabbage As Big As Your Head

Daddy Doll pretends to hate flowers. His real motive is keeping anyone from prowling around in his study, making changes.

Lucinda the maid, jealous of all the flowers downstairs, has begged and begged him to let her put an arrangement in the study.

"No!" says Daddy. "I won't have my room being set up for the ladies' garden club meeting!"

"If I done it anyway, sir, just to see how it looks, would you sack me, sir?"

"Sack you? What do you mean, 'sack' you?"

"I mean, would you like fire me?" Lucinda has a mischievous side.

"Why, no," says Daddy, "I'd never go that far! You injure me, Lucinda! Have I ever mentioned firing anybody? Do I strike you as a cruel person, Lucinda? Have you ever seen or heard me make anyone unhappy? Doing violence to anyone's feelings?"

"No, sir," Lucinda lies.

She was finally permitted to put one blossom in the study.

"One blossom!" Daddy boomed. "Get one of those d__'d things from the kitchen garden--one of those cabbages as big as your silly head!"

Of course, they're not cabbages, but an old bush of cabbage roses that grow to gigantic size. When fully opened, they're bigger than a dinner plate. Lucinda was happy enough, so she stuck one big rose in the stein on top of the green bookcase--as instructed by Daddy. She had to use the library ladder to get up there, and nearly had a fall.



Other Stuff Around the House



The quilt on this bed was made by Grandma's cousin, a Mrs. Cleveland.






*

This is what Daddy mockingly calls "the kitchen garden!" The erstwhile* handyman, Billy Bones, occasionally plants herbs or something there, but his addiction to alcohol prevents his taking proper care of things, so they die. All except the cabbage rose which has been there all along.

*in the sense of "sometime"

*
If any spot around the house can be called a garden, this one on the other side of the house is it. Maybe you can't see him, but Dolly's pet turtle Aesop has escaped the house and is trying to climb into the pond.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Valentine's Day!

Have a happy day, Everyone!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Giant

Another movie I had never seen in its entirety was on TCM this morning. It was worth watching to the end, I guess. But I've got to get busy around here. Anyway, whatever else he was, Rock Hudson was the handsomest man I ever saw, in or out of the movies. Which just goes to show you. In the '50s and '60s, I kept hoping they would remake "Gone With the Wind," with him and Liz T.

I'm getting busy.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Lassie Came Home

I had never seen the movie, "Lassie Come Home," until yesterday on TCM. Everything about it was perfect except a close-up of tiny Elizabeth Taylor's face in which, with so much makeup, she looked exactly like the adult E. Taylor in one of her skinnier moments.

Yesterday my Sister Susan had an afib episode with much pain, and sensibly called the paramedics and went to the hospital. They stabilized her and ran tests, but I haven't heard today whether she's still there or has come home. I hope the MD's and techs weren't in the mood to put her through a transesophageal EKG, as they did me the only time I called 911--I was routed to the stroke center, when all I had was vertigo--those ceiling beams in the living room were whizzing around like in a tornado, and I got scared, was all.

I came out of my hole this morning and saw my shadow. I'm in the mood to hibernate for another six weeks or so.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

It's here.

My favorite months, from best to worst:

December - November - October - September - May -April - June - March - January - August - July - February


The best thing about February is that it's short.

One of the worst things about it is that it's hard to pronounce.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Help Is Where You Find It.

Charlie, the Lowe's installer, came today and put up a new door at the top of the stairs. He said they ordered the wrong door for the basement, so he's going to reorder it. While he was working in the foyer, I asked if he would do me a big favor--help me move the dollhouse so I could put a cloth on the table, and then set the house back on the cloth. He said sure, and wanted to know all about the dollhouse while we were moving it.

I had packed up all the furnishings in the house, because I need to repaper at least one of the walls and make some other changes.

The white cat's ear has healed up nicely, though it'll be scarred. He's such a sweet kitty. I fixed him a bed again in one of the big plastic bins turned on the side, and put it on the deck. Trouble is, it all gets wet and frozen when the weather is bad.

The poetry reading last night was very good. We had eight attendees, and some good stuff was read. Joe read a sympathetic poem about a somewhat scary incident with a black person, which made me brave enough to read my Autherine Lucy poem. I think that's the first time anyone except Ramey, Barry M., and Prof. M., at UAB, had read or heard it. Years ago, Barry gave it and another poem of mine to Prof. M. to read, and the great man said the other poem was worth working on but the Lucy poem wasn't. Our poetry group seemed to like it, though.

***

Here's a poem, or song, that I wrote in the 1980's after Bob disappeared.

Bob the Cat
His mother was Carly, a proud calico,
His dad was a rogue black as jet;
But my feline companion called Robert the Bob
Was loved by all that he met.

They called him Beautiful Bob;
He was gentle and never a snob.
With eyes golden yellow,
A most handsome fellow.
Was my dear Rob.

He was brave and faithful and true,
The best pal that I ever knew.
The years can’t erase him;
No pet can replace him.
He’ll always be Beautiful Bob.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Vickie and Albert

Jenny and I used to make dolls out of clothespins, but I've sold, lost or given away most of them. I don't know where Mama got these two big antique clothespins, but she gave them to me long ago. She had used her tiny drill to make holes through for their arms. All these many years, I've meant to ask my artist sister Ramey to paint their heads to resemble Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and I've collected pictures of the royal couple so I could make their costumes. But I never think to tell Ramey. So I'm posting this as a self-reminder.

The taller pin is nearly 5 inches high, and I've thought about using it to make a new Daddy for the Dolls' house, so he would be almost as tall as Mama. But I hate to abandon the Prince Albert idea.

Queen Victoria was a pretty good-looking little woman until she had twelve children, Albert died, and she didn't care much any more.

***

Shakespeare's prettiest poem:

Tir'd with all these, for restful death I cry,
As: to behold desert a beggar born,
And needy nothing trimm'd in jollity,
And purest faith unhappily foresworn;

And gilded honor shamefully misplac'd,
And maiden virtue rudely strumpeted,
And right perfection wrongully disgrac'd,
And strength by limping sway disabled;

And art made tongue-tied by authority,
And folly, doctor-like, controlling skill,
And simple truth miscall'd simplicity,
And captive good attending captain ill--

Tir'd with all these, from these would I be gone,
Save that, to die, I leave my love alone.

This is the thing he wrote that, in my opinion, most strongly indicates Oxford as the author. It sharply describes his life, and the influence of Authority over his works.

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Dolls' Storage Shed


Besides the unsightly piles of household stuff in the attic, the Dolls have to keep some things handy in the storage shed, like garden and carpenter tools, the sewing machine and the ironing board. And the trash cans.

Daddy has acquired three new hunting dogs, Sooner, Echo and Belman, who currently sleep in the shed because Tiny the Airedale won't let them come into the house.

Daddy himself gained a lot of weight over the holidays. He also quit dyeing his hair black, and looks quite different. Will show new pictures of him later.
***
I looked out the window this morning, and it looked like someone had turned on the lights. Oh--it was the sun, which I hadn't seen in several days.
***
A poem so beautiful it makes me cry:


"Beloved, let us once more praise the rain.
Let us discover some new alphabet,
For this, the often praised, and be ourselves
The rain, the chickweed, and the burdock leaf,
The green-white privet flower, the spotted stone,
And all that welcomes rain; the sparrow, too,--
Who watches with a hard eye, from seclusion,
Beneath the elm-tree bough, till rain is done. ...

"...The wheel of cloud whirs slowly: while we wait
In the dark room; and in your heart I find
One silver raindrop, --on a hawthorn leaf,--
Orion in a cobweb, and the World."
by  Conrad Aiken

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Hello, Goodbye

One cold rainy day last week, I went to the drugstore to pick up a prescription. When I got back and opened the garage so I could get in, a pretty black and white dog ran in ahead of my truck. He was wet and cold and shivering, and I sort of rubbed some of the rain off of him. Then I went upstairs and fixed him a plate of leftover beef stew and rice and things and took it down there.

He tucked his long bushy tail between his legs and looked sort of sheepish, but after a while he ate it all up. He had on a collar, and I turned it around and around, looking for a tag, but he didn't have one.

"You're a right nice dog," I said. "Matter of fact, you're the very kind of a dog I've been looking for, with your long wavy hair and your medium-sized build. How would you like to hang around here?"

"No'm," he said. "Much obliged for the dinner and the rubdown and all, but I reckon I'll get on back to the house when it quits raining."

"Well, it was mighty nice talking to you," I said, and he said likewise. So we shook hands, and after a while I let him out. When I looked out the window, he was long gone.

I really don't want a dog, but it had slipped my mind.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Crossroads

The movie "Crossroads" (1986) was shown on TV last night, and I watched it, of course. They don't make movies that good any more, and probably never will again-- Is that true, or is it just the old-timer's classic "good old days" versus "bad new days"? It's a subjective thing, of course.

Watching the movie on TV saved me the difficulty of opening my new DVD package and figuring out which remote to use to play the disc, all of which I've been putting off for a month or more. I've got several unwatched DVD's. Must remember to arrange another tutoring session with Jed, and label the relevant remote. I may not be tech-smart, but at least my kids are.

I think I'll copy Roger Ebert and start a Four-Star Movie column on this blog.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

21-0, by gosh!

That's a little better than 9-6. What happened to the No. 1 LSU Tigers, y'all?!!! The Tide sort of casually rolled over them, that's what!  You won't find a whole heap about it in the news, not at all like what you would have found if Auburn had done anything near this. But then, it's Alabama's what? fourteenth National Championship, big deal. Nick Saban said he was happy, and almost smiled.

Sunday, January 8, 2012




Saturday, January 7, 2012

Book Club and Other Stuff

It's January, and as far as I know, no one has mentioned resuming book club. It's probably just as well.

During the twelve days of Christmas, I got old. It seems to be different for different people, the point at which one surrenders and admits to being old. For me, it was a day when I realized that I feel, not just tired, but superannuated. I think I need a new hairstyle. Or A hairstyle. What's a good style for thin, gray, straight, baby-fine, flyaway locks? If you can call them locks. Maybe like Mirren.

Would need a face-lift to go along with the style. And lots of makeup. All of which really boil down to lots of money.

I have to say that for me, December was the best month of 2011. Dec. 31st wasn't the best day of that year, but at least it was the last one. I wish everyone I know, and don't know, a Happy New Year, and I hope to goodness everyone wishes me the same. A year with no broken doors, broken teeth, broken resolutions, flooded basements, carcinomas, new stray cats, paucity of poetry prizes, lost things-- Last week I laid a newly opened deck of smokes and a lighter somewhere, and have been looking for them ever since. "Many are the travelers . . . "

I think this year I'll read Walden again. And The Once and Future King. Hank's poem about Lynn, in Then We Came To the End, was heartrending. That was really a good book, worthy of all the prizes it won.