Monday, July 11, 2011

The Maze and the Lumps

Viewed one way, life is like one of those puzzles, or a garden maze, where you follow one path for a while and suddenly come to a dead end, then have to go back and decide which path to follow next. Some people seem to sail straight through the maze with no, or very few, setbacks, as if they could see the puzzle from above and avoid the dead ends. Such people, if there really are any, must be very, very lucky. Jesus really could see the puzzle from above, and he had to run the obstacle course, anyway, hopping from place to place and listening to the jeers from the sidelines.

The point I'm trying to make is for my friend Deb. Divorce is a major dead end, right? I remember it well. That's one reason I didn't get married again: I couldn't stand the possibility of having to go through another divorce which, given my personality, was more on the lines of a probability. You might say it cured me of marriage.

I wish I had useful advice for a divorced person who takes it hard, for social, economic, political or religious reasons. My reasons were mainly social and economic, and I was thankful that Daddy had insisted I learn a skill so I could get an inside job.

Ancient as I am, I ought to have lots of good advice stored up to pass around when people need it. But I don't remember ever receiving free advice of any kind in that crisis--or any other. Don't even remember anybody saying "Good Luck!" When  you're running for your life, you hear lots of familiar voices baying with the hounds. And ominous silence from corners where you thought you might get a little support. You forgive them, because they didn't know all the details, and wouldn't believe them if they did.

Anyway, all I can say is "Good Luck!"
*
I've got to go back to the clinic this Friday for an ultrasound. I've had one before. It's probably the same old lump.

5 comments:

Ramey Channell said...

I trust that the lump is a big nothing. I think your Dr. likes to do tests.

Deb said...

First, I would like to say that I am praying your test comes out ok. Lumps most of the time are just lumps. Have some lumps myself:)
Next, I would like to say thank you.Except for my girls, I have not had many people to talk to and even fewer to give advice or a kind word. It really is something I wouldn't want anyone to go through. I, like you, don't know if I could ever marry again. Maybe after alot of healing and I learn to trust again. Thank you so very, very much.
Hugs....

Susan @ Blackberry Creek said...

I have to go back in September for another picture of my lump. It's just, what's that word? Well, you know--something they do even when they're pretty sure you don't need it but they'll get a payment from Medicare/Insurance so what the heck.
TO DEB: Thinking of you and understanding what you're going through. Among us three sisters, we've had six divorces. We old hats at this stuff.

Deb said...

I don't think I want this hat, and never want to be an'old' hat at this! Very depressing, divorce. Hence, I craft a lot, and sometimes squeeze in some writing. I have found out who my 'friends' really are. That is more depressing than the divorce! Glad I have wonderful girls..they've kept me sane!
Hugs....

Joanne Cage said...

Suze: I worked for one of the chief builders/executives of the Kirklin Clinic when they were building and equipping it. The motto was, "Everyone deserves an MRI or at least a CAT scan." So they could pay for the stuff, I guess, and the Carerra marble for the building itself.