Beg pardon?

Well, my hearing is 88% normal in what I call my "good ear," and 95% normal in what I call my "bad ear." Maybe I just don't pay attention. The doctor said I could get a hearing aid if I really wanted one. That's just about exactly what they told me when I had a hearing exam ten or fifteen years ago.

At the clinic, a very tall elderly gentleman got on the elevator. He says to me, "I almost ran over you, Shorty. Are you sure you're standing up?"

I said to his belt buckle, "When I was a young spring chicken like you, I was six feet tall."

A lady who I presume was his wife said, "The last person he said that to, told him, 'If I was as big as you, I'd beat your a--.'"

I love talking to strangers.

*

The girl at the reception desk in Radiology said, "And when is your birthday, Mrs. Pinson?"

I wanted to tell her to go upstairs and get her hearing tested, but decided I had been witty enough for one day.