Cuisine--Yuck!!!

Cooking is a very messy and tiresome procedure, in my experience. You see all these women (and men) on TV cooking shows, dressed to the nines, earrings and all, making all these neat colorful dishes in less than thirty minutes, laughing all the way. White-capped and white-coated chefs who look clean and sterile, up to the elbows in beautiful white flour, not a spot on their clothes, never considering the clean-up.

But when I get right down to it, and while it's going on, I really hate it. Especially afterwards. I hate to get my hands into a gooey, ground-beef-ketchup-and-eggy mess. I hate dough, raw or cooked, if it can be identified as dough. I hate it when flour sifts onto the counters and the floor. I especially hate it when grease spatters on the walls and cabinets, and you know you'll forget about it when you're finally released from the curs-ed kitchen. I'll bet I've washed my hands fifteen times during the making of tuna salad. Aargh! I hate grease, and "oil" is one of the ugliest words in any language.

I hate stirring a pot over a gas flame, the heat of which creeps up and burns your wrist, the steam of which has pepper in it and makes you sneeze, from which of course you have to protect the pot and/or start over.

Sometimes I'm skeptical of the I.Q. of people who love to cook. But then there's my son, who is much smarter than I am, who loves to cook, or at least takes it gracefully. And my sister, whose I.Q. is at least as high as mine, whose chili and brownies are historic in cooking circles.

***Sigh!*** Until I can afford to hire a cook and three scullery maids, I guess I'll just muddle along, eating all the raw or processed foods I can get away with.